My mate Rob made the most monumental pillock of himself tonight.
It’s bad enough that he has a completely over-the-top infatuation with a girl who isn’t even remotely interested, and that he seems to spend all of his time trying to win her over by saying/doing/buying anything and everything that he thinks she likes in some pathetic attempt to make her interested in him, but tonight really was his most impressive…
Karen is into sports bikes and racing in a big way, so Rob decides he’s going to get a sports bike… Now he passed his bike test a few years ago and had some kind of Harley Davidson clone but nothing resembling a sports bike and as far as I know he hasn’t ridden anything for a couple of years.
Anyway, he picks it up at 5:30 this evening and comes straight to the school to train, we finish as usual about 9:30 and were off outside ready to leave so Rob jumps on his new bike, revs it up like he’s on the starting grid and drops the clutch.
Stage 1 : The back wheel spins like a catherine wheel and the back end wobbles all over the place
Stage 2: The back wheel finds some grip and the bike launches forward like a catapult
Stage 3: the front end comes up at 90° and then careers off sideways as the rear-end overtakes it
Stage 4: Rob hits the tarmac as the bike does somersult right before his eyes.
Stage 5: We check that Rob is unhurt
Stage 6: We all point and laugh, a lot
Stage 7: Rob learns that its not big and its not clever…