Seriously, what the f**k is that all about?

I had a look at all the old Facebook messages and it’s not like Kel’s said anything that 99% of FB users don’t say all the time. Clearly the sender of the mail was referring to a couple of jokey messages between Kel and a friend of hers from work about them getting together at the weekend but seriously, what the f**k? What’s it got to do with anyone else?

I’m struggling hard to figure out the motivation for sending it. Was it someone who has some kind of problem with alcohol themselves? Someone who has a problem with Kel? Was it actually someone to do with the school (we don’t believe that as we get on well with all the parents) or someone using that to cover their tracks? is it someone trying to have a pop at Kel for something to do with work, or to try & hurt me for some reason? None of it makes sense.

Whatever the reason it’s obviously caused all manner of upset now. To have seen those messages the person who sent it had to be on Kel’s friends list on Facebook and so then that now means she’s worried about what she says and who it might be. It’s got her so upset she’s now not even wanting to be at the school and so obviously that makes my previous worries on that front a million times worse.

One of Kel’s friends even suggested that it was someone’s misguided attempt to to get at Kel out of some kind of loyalty to me. Well if you’re reading this, I can tell you quite categorically that its’s not helping one bit. Yes we may have split up and Kel’s not interested in me any more but I still love her and Callum as much as I ever did and so anything or anyone that hurts her is also hurting me.

So, here’s the thing. If you’re reading this and you sent it, for fuck’s sake man up and own up so we can all move forward as at the moment you’re just hurting everyone.

Err, well more boo! My weekend consisted mainly of a detailed step-by-step analysis of what I can only assume was a proper good dose of the norovirus.

I felt fine on Friday morning but by mid-afternoon I felt proper grotty, horrible fluey symptoms – thick head, hot & cold and achey all over. I ended up going to bed at 6pm and apart from a quick drink about 10pm I slept right through until 10am the following morning! Even after 16 hours sleep I was totally wiped out all day saturday, not especially ill but absolutely hanging.

After another 12 hours sleep on Saturday night I figured I’d be fine. On reflection it was probably a bit optimistic of me to assume that ‘not actually feeling too crap’ on sunday morning equated to being over it. Trouble was I was feeling pretty stir-crazy but this point and not a little frustrated at the wasted weekend so I figured I’d venture out for a couple of hours walk/location scouting down at the Deer Park in Berkeley

(More snaps on Flickr).

It seemed like a good idea at the time and it was quite nice to get out in the fresh air for a bit, the only minor problem was when after a couple of hours I realised that: a) I was absolutely knackered, b) I really didn’t feel at all well and c) I was about a mile from my car, cross-country. Oops.

Probably not such a good idea in hindsight as I really didn’t enjoy the walk back to the car at all and by the time I got home I was kicking myself for being such a dunce, especially as double knackering myself like that didn’t make the evening any easier.. Not wishing to put too fine a point on it by tea time the lurgi had well and truly taken up residence in my guts and was hell bent on escaping by any means necessary

In other news, this single malarky isn’t suiting me one bit.

Problem is I still feel exactly the same way about Kel that I always did and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Obviously she doesn’t feel the same way and seems to be happily getting on with things as if the last 8 years never happened. I find that pretty hard to handle when I’m missing her & Callum like hell.

I’ve been trying to keep a brave face on it, just getting on with stuff, spending some time with mates, taking some photos etc. but fundamentally there’s just this massive void there smack bang in the middle of things and at the moment I’m struggling to see a way past it.

The biggest thing is that over the past eight years I’ve made some pretty massive decisions based on the fact I had Kel’s support and that we’d be working towards things together, but now of course that’s all gone out the window and some of those things which I did thinking we’d be together forever are now hanging around my neck like a yolk. Whatever I do there’s no simple way to either move forward or to be able to draw a line under things and walk away.

Given that I’m normally pretty positive it’s really not a very nice feeling to feel that someone else has such a hold over my life and there’s sod all I can do about it..

Ah well.

Listening to: Letting the Cables Sleep from “The Science of Things” by Bush

So yeah, moving on. Obviously there was the danger of today spiralling into some kind of headfuck given recent events but I did my best to distract myself from all that by embarking on a fairly major rearranging of my office. Soon got bored of that though and headed up to Gloucester for a mooch, a coffee and some social interaction with actual real-life people. Bumped into a couple I often see in Waterstones, Les and Sian, with their rather lovely Doberman Herla. The poor old girl’s got a degenerative nervous system disorder rather like MS and she’s slowly losing motor function in her legs which is terribly sad to see in such a lovely animal but thankfully she doesn’t seem to be in any major pain and she does end up getting spoiled rotten by all the regulars in costa (not to mention the staff)

I’ve got to admit that seeing all the fluffy stuff online today did spin me out a bit as it was naturally difficult not to think about relationships given how the subject was rammed down our throats from all directions today.

I am still finding it surreal the way Kel seems to be able to just carry on as if nothing’s happened. It’s like she’s managed to to just wipe away all that time from her head or something and is just treating me like I’m just any random bloke she knows and not in fact the guy she was planning to spend the rest of her life with. She seems to have miraculously gained the ability to show absolutely no sign of emotion about ‘us’ whatsoever, it’s just like none of it ever happened and that’s weirding me out big time because now I’m starting to question everything and wondering if she ever did actually mean anything she said to me. it certainly doesn’t feel like it and that’s a very odd feeling.

Still, sitting around moping isn’t going to help anything is it and so I’m just doing the only thing I can, just getting on with it. I’m not quite sure what ‘it’ is yet, but whatever it is I’m getting on with that.

I did very nearly made a prick of myself by buying Kel a big soppy valentines card & ordering flowers etc. but I thought better of it and cancelled them. As far as I can tell the only possible outcome of that course of action would have been more pain for me and I figured what’s the point in belittling myself even further after being made a fool of for the last 12 months? I’ve got a long way to go to get the old me back but I’m at least sentient enough to know I’m worth more than that.

I am lucky to have an excellent group of friends who’ve been keeping me (nearly) sane and putting up with me over the past few weeks. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve had a few trips down to Bristol to hook up with some friends who are also into photography & creative stuff. hopefully we’ll be sorting out some photographic opportunities with them very soon which is cool. It’s also been good for my sanity to talk to some friends who’ve at least managed to (almost!) convince me that I’m not in fact insane and that Kel does in fact ‘want her head read’. That bit did at least make me feel a wee bit better about myself!

Anyway, onwards and upwards as they say..

I think this weeks primary goal needs to be to get my arse down the gym, renew my membership and see if I can’t sort out some kind of sensible training plan to shift some blubber without totally destroying my old knackered knees. I’m setting myself a goal to lose about 1½ stone by June. I’m currently about 16st and want to get back down to under 14½ again. That’s totally do-able as I did more than that a couple of years ago, at one point I was over 17st and got down to under 14½ then, it’s just crept back up again over the last 18 moths or so. No excuses, sure it was a combination of dealing with mum being Ill, shit with Kel and a couple of injuries that took months to get over but those aren’t real justifications. The truth is I just took my eye off the ball.

I’m going to ressurect an old pic from a couple of years ago as motivation for myself. This was the progress I made when i set my mind to it, did a detox and just got on with it.

The pic on the left is pretty much spot on for how much I weigh and how I look now. The scary bit is that when that was taken I’d already lost about a stone so I’m bloody glad I didn’t have any pics from when I was at my heaviest.

If I did that before then I know I can do it again. It’s not going to be easy and I know that realistically i’m going to have to dramatically improve my nutrition and get my lazy arse into gear big time to do so but I’m bloody fed up with feeling like a fat old knacker and so there’s only one thing to do really isn’t there.

Just get the fuck on with it.

Having set off to a bad start wasn’t really helping the mental state at the mo. It’s all starting to transition from that surreal phase into the painful reality that no matter what I say, do or feel it’s not going to make a blind bit of difference to Kel as it seems that chapter is well and truly closed.

I’m finding it all a bit odd that after eight years she can just switch off and carry on as if nothing happened. That’s the bit that’s hurting the most at the mo, because it just makes it feel like I meant absolutely nothing to her and my brain just doesn’t want to compute that, it just doesn’t add up after everything she use to say to me. I dunno, I guess that’s just Kel’s way of dealing but it still feels like the most incredible slap in the face.

Anyway I did at least get to enjoy a nice little bubble of ‘me’ time tonight at the school because at least when I’ve got my belt on I tend to switch into ‘Black Belt mode’ automagically and at least then I get some of the old confident me back. Tonight was all about intensity and focus which meant I had to demonstrate those traits to a higher level than I’d expect my students too and that tends to rub off on them too and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because the more energised they are the easier it is for me.

As we often do, in my ‘Masters’ training session we started out on one topic and a question from one student led me off on a tangent into a pretty deep discussion about the psychology of confrontation and dealing with real aggression etc. Bit of a shame that some of our students don’t make the effort to stay for that part of the class because it’s where all the ‘real’ training begins.

Talking about that stuff and thinking back to some examples from my time on the door did me some good confidence-wise. Need to get out and hook up with some old training buddies I think and get a bit of the mojo back.

Anyway, best get some shut-eye. Off up to Manchester to see Rammstein with Huw tomorrow, then we’re coming back via Birmingham on weds to see them again

\m/ O \m/

I went over to Kel’s last night (weds) and had a bit of a chat about stuff, some of it personal and a few bits to do with the school. All perfectly amicable, if not a little odd. It just seems so weird after 8 years to sit on a sofa with someone but feel like you might as well be in another country.

Could spend hours going over boring details and over-analysing stuff that is of no interest to anyone else but the simple fact of the matter is she doesn’t love me, and hence doesn’t want to be with me any more. Simple as that really.   

It’s all just a bit surreal now, especially given that it was only a month ago that Kel told me she did in fact still want to get married. (Bearing in mind this was after her finishing with me, telling me that getting engaged was the biggest mistake ever and then subsequently telling that after all she didn’t in fact want to throw away seven years so easily and would I please consider giving it another go etc.)

Anyway, when she said at christmas I was understandably well chuffed and had a proper little scheme hatching in my mind. I was planning to buy her a replacement for the engagement ring she’d lost last year and then take her away for a ‘finally out of debt’ celebration weekend where I could surprise her with a ‘proper’ proposal.   Having seen Ian’s awesome shots of an engagement celebration in Paris I was thinking about something like that to make it extra special. Hmm, that was literally only a few weeks ago and then WHAMMO - so long, and thanks for all the fish…

Still, like I said, I’m not blaming Kel or holding any animosity towards her. If it’s not right and it’s not making her happy then there’s no point in me getting arsey about it is there? Sure it’s hurting like hell at the moment but I’m doing my best to keep it together for everyones sake. I’m really hoping we’ll always stay close as friends if nothing else and I’m going to try and do the best I can from my side at least to make sure that happens.

Got to admit I’m pretty gutted about the whole situation for Callum though. He’s never had a particularly good relationship with his Dad and ever since he was about 5 I’ve been around. I did ask Kel to be sure to explain to him that this was her decision because I’d hate for him to hold any resentment towards me about it all because I know how he feels about his dad. We’ve been pretty close over the past few years (hey, I was even planning to have him be my best man..) and there have even been times when he’d said to Kel he wished I was his dad because his real one was crap. The feeling was mutual and it hurts doubly so to lose him too.

Soo, anyway, I’m making no apologies for having a bit of a rant on here though as it’s one little way of maintaining a bit of sanity at an otherwise weird-as-fuck time. I am also taking a bit of consolation from the fact that having talked this over with some of my mates (including a couple who are mutual friends with Kel too) and they’re all pretty much in agreement that this just seems a bit (lot) weird and Kel wants her head read! That at least makes me feel marginally better!   

According to my friend Bev, Kel’s officially a ‘bloody nutjob’ and should read this but I’m not sure I want to be anybodies ‘second best’ thanks! Perhaps I should buy her the book though eh?

Ahh fuck it… Man I was so looking forward to this month and this year as a whole, planning to have a big celebration for finally being out of debt after so many years.   I don’t regret getting out of the rat race for a moment but the financial mess it left me in was something of a challenge to say the least. I ended up with about £45k in debt and it’s taken nearly seven years to pay that off so you can imagine what an ace feeling it is to finally get there. Well, it would have been an ace feeling if I’d not just had the rug pulled out from under me like this. It would have been really nice to have been able to feel good about something, even if just for at least a few days eh?

Still, I suppose it does at least mean that instead of spending it on expensive jewellery for someone to lose I can spend it on new tech for me instead, and now I don’t have to turn down those requests to take naughty pictures of good looking girls any more either!

See, I knew there had to be a silver lining somewhere!

But hey – don’t go getting too comfortable or actually having something to look forward to eh! Suffice to say, déjà vu has reared it’s ugly head in an almost spectacular carbon copy of this time last year. I appear to be single again.

Piss.

As I said, it’s all pretty much about the same stuff as I wrote about before so it would be far simpler to just refer back to those posts again ( here and here) as they are a pretty fair summary.

So yeah. Arse.

Fact is, since all that happened last year things never really changed, not for want of trying on my part but I’m afraid it’s all been a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The biggest problem for years has been that because we were both properly skint, after I left my old day job I ended up massively in debt and it’s taken the best part of 7 years to pay all that off. Having such a restricted budget meant there was sod all chance of getting our own place or actually being able to move forward with any plans and so Kel’s pretty much reached the point of just giving up because she just couldn’t see anything changing and I guess she just figured that was my fault and therefore down to me to sort out.

Frustrating then isn’t it that within a matter of weeks I’ll be out of debt. Yup, zip, zero, zilch, nada. Finally able to actually start making some plans and move forward. How ace is that!

Well, you’d think so wouldn’t you? Trouble is, whilst I’ve always had confidence in my future-vision for how things would work out, unfortunately Kel doesn’t share that confidence and no matter what I try, say or do, she’ll always default to what shes got now or had in the past. The reality of the here-and-now will always overrule any potential future benefits.

That’s massively frustrating for me when in the past i’ve always been super-positive and had tons of confidence in things working out ok in the end. Can’t do it all on my own though can I? isn’t a relationship is supposed to be about two people complementing each other, a synergy where you balance out one another’s strengths and weaknesses for the good of the whole (relationship).

After all that stuff last year, once again, Kel readily admitted she’d been digging her heels in and letting me make all the effort. She knows she does it and yet can’t explain why. It’s very much a case of “I’m not happy because I can’t see anything changing so I’m not going to take any kind of action that might actually help change it”. The doubly frustrating part is that she readily admits the fact but that still doesn’t make any difference. Thing is, I can’t feel bad towards Kel for that, as I know it’s all a matter of self-belief and you’ve either got it or you haven’t.

Again, I know I’m venting a bit but I’m really not blaming her. I think it’s just a case of some deep-rooted protection mechanism where she’s convinced herself that for years all she had to worry about was her and Callum and whenever things are a bit tough the huge brick wall goes up with them on the inside and me locked out. It seems that no matter what I’ll do, I’ll just can’t get past that.

Classic example, a few weeks ago she arranged to go on holiday with a friend from work, just her and Callum with her friend and her kids. It’ didn’t actually matter that I pointed out that if she went with them that would probably put a spanner in the works for us being able to go away somewhere, both in financial terms (well unless I paid for everything of course) and also in terms of Kel using up holiday entitlement which she then wouldn’t have if we wanted to go somewhere. She didn’t even acknowledge that, it was just like I was irrelevant because the next thing I heard was it was all booked anyway. Boy, did that make me feel special!   I’ve still not managed to get my head around that one at all.

Still, in spite of all that, I’d still been firmly focused on the fact that this was going to be the year when things turned around. Finally debt-free and able to start cranking handles and moving forward. I’ve been looking forward to this point for such a long time now, literally the past 7 or 8 years and psychologically it’s massive.   I’d even decided that the first thing I wanted to do when I’d paid off that last payment was to go and buy Kel a replacement ring for the one she lost and then take her away somewhere nice so I could surprise her with it ‘properly’ this time. Bloody good job I didn’t buy it eh! The only reason I didn’t was because I couldn’t find the receipt for when we had it sized to be able to order the right one…

Anyway, thankfully we’ve not fallen out, and I really hope we never will. I’m not holding any kid of ill-feelings towards Kel at all, I just thing that the circumstances sucked, big time. I still feel exactly how I always did about her and Callum, but I really don’t think there’s anything I could say or do right now that would make any difference. The ball is well and truly in Kel’s court.

Not really sure what i’m doing from day to day at the moment. It’s all a bit surreal. Kel’s still teaching and training at the school which is ace but she did specifically say she needed to be alone at the moment so apart from the school stuff I’m having to bite my lip and let her get on with things in her own and way an on her terms. It’s absolutely killing me each night when it comes to the sort of time I’d be phoning her up to say goodnight but to be honest, Kel’s happiness is more important than mine right now and I’m not about to try and force this issue and spoil that. Especially as ongoing her friendship, and her and Callum’s happiness is really important to me.

So, what am I going to do? Well, I dunno!

To be honest, this past couple of years has just knocked all the wind out of my sails and I’ve got to figure a way to get the old mojo back. I hate the fact that all this crap has eroded a huge part of what I suspect attracted Kel to me in the first place – unfortunately yet another self-fulfilling prophecy.

At the moment I don’t have a massive plan but it has to be said the old self-belief batteries are definitely in need of recharging at the moment so I’m trying to get back into a few of the things I used to be into such as making music and working on some creative projects. I’m making some plans to make more of my photography, which should hopefully involve a bit more travel too.

I really need to get off my lazy arse, sort out my diet and get back in the gym. For me, training and confidence are totally inter-twined and I find it hard to train if I’m not feeling good about myself and vice-versa. Over the past year I’ve been feeling pretty crap for a lot of the time and so I’ve just let the training slip. Pretty much undone all the good work I did a couple of years ago and I’m feeling a bit like Mr Blobby’s stunt double again. Hoping that a few steps in the right direction with the other stuff will help inspire me to crack on in the gym again too.

Next step after that is to really sort my school out. I want to expand, but I don’t want to be doing that all myself so I need to figure a plan to either get someone else involved or how I can work the finances to be able to pay an assistant instructor to coach some extra classes for me. In the past those plans had all been reliant on Kel’s support so I guess I’ll need to make them a slightly longer, different approach but it’s still all do-able.

So, yeah, stuff. It sucks, but I suppose it could be worse. There’s plenty of people out there who are a million times worse off than I am at the moment so I’ll just be grateful I’m not one of them eh?

“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.” –Sarah Ban Breathnach

It seems to be all about running around like blue-arsed fly trying to keep everyone else happy by conforming to some socially accepted conventions – which have absolutely nothing to do with celebration, other than the retailers celebrating yet another victory in their tills. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like buying presents for people – but when it’s on my terms. You know, just being able to be nice because you feel like it, rather than because it’s expected because of some arbitrary date on the calendar. Where’s the pleasure in giving or receiving gifts out of some kind of obligation?

The last few Christmases have been pretty shite really. Since my Dad died Mum has no interest in xmas and so there’s no point in cooking a big christmas dinner etc. as there’s nobody to eat it. Last year was nice as I had a proper big christmas dinner with Kel’s family but that was only because my mum was recovering from an operation a couple of days before xmas an just wanted to sleep it off. This year I’ll probably end up with beans on toast in front of the telly.

Then there’s where to go and when. For the last few of years Kel & Callum have stayed at mine on xmas eve/xmas morning which was nice. I like the waking up and opening our pressies together, but even that makes me feel guilty as hell because Kel’s always said she’d really rather just stay at home for once and not run around to suit other people (and I can hardly argue about that can I). But then if I stay at her place I’ve got to leave my mum home alone on xmas morning for the first time in 67 years and so I feel like an utter cunt either way.

This would be so much easier if we had out own place as then we’d have no hassles over where to stay and could have our own xmas dinner at home and everyone could come there. One day eh? It’s been uber-frustrating for years to be held back by debts but thankfully that yolk round my neck will soon be lifted as I’ll have mine all paid off in a few months (woo!) and getting our own place will be one step closer, just need to pay off Kel’s now!

Ahh fuck it, maybe I’ll just go hide in the cupboard until Sunday. Wake me up when it’s all over eh?

I was such a plank – when they gave it to me for my birthday last year I figured I’d wait until the spring and go then, and then promptly forgot all about it!

So, just before my birthday this year I figured I’d better book it up before the voucher expired, which I did. Trouble was then for the next 4/5 weeks we had a constant cycle of cancel/rebook due to the weather. Eventually we got a really nice clear day and I got a great flight. I’ve had a few glider flights before as I used to work with a guy who was an instructor and obviously I’m no stranger to small planes having been skydiving for a number of years too so I was really looking forward to it.

Some pics: (from my flickr set)

Our bird, basking in the sun and waiting to go play…

The tug

Snug for a big bloke like me

Any chance of a lift mate?

Ta!

- The water you can see is the the ‘S’ bend in the river Severn, here

Ooh look you can see my house from here! (Ashmead is the little village dead centre)

Cam from the NW.
The buildings in the middle at the bottom are Cam Mills then a bit further right that’s Tescos.

Looking back towards the Gliding club (the far left end of the hill)

Bristol & Gloucester Gliding Club is basically the whole top of the hill.

The valley to the right is Woodchester park, complete with the famous Mansion

Lovely day…

Travelling down was a bit of a nightmare as there was some problem on the M5 near Bristol on Friday morning and we got caught up in it. That was a bit of a bugger to start with as we knew there was a problem earlier but last minute checks on an iPhone travel app looked like it wouldn’t affect us so we got on the motorway anyway, and….. It took us 2.5 hours just to get as far as Avonmouth! At that point I figured the only option was to bale, and do a reboot on the day, so we went into town for some breakfast and and then headed out for a cross-country trip to get on the M5 at Clevedon.

Fairly steady run down the rest of the way apart from a minor road rage incident with your typical ‘white van man’ on the A30. Rather than rise to the bait though we just took the phone number and registration of his van and phoned his boss to let him know his employee was driving like an utter twat. I dunno, I must be growing up or something. Maybe it’s buying the mondeo that did it?

Anyway, we had a pretty nice caravan down in Newquay on the same site I used to visit every year when I was a kid with my parents and my cousins families, It was quite nostalgic to go back to the same site 30 years on as I had many fond memories as a kid. The site’s obviously been modernised over the years but the layout was pretty much as I’d remembered it though it seem much bigger when I was only about 8!

We were really lucky with the weather as we’ve had three days of sunshine and blue skies. You’d never have believed it was October from the site of surfer girls in bikinis down on Fistral beach.

Obviously being out of the main season the site was pretty quiet which was nice and we were close enough to the club etc. that Callum could just wander off to the amusements whenever he liked. The only downside for me is that I’m really not cut out for the caravanning lark… Even though these modern static vans are more like a small house and they’re really nice inside with all mod cons, they still have paper-thin walls! I’m a really light sleeper anyway so every little noise through the night wakes me up. That’s before we even start on f***king chav scumbags arguing outside their van at 3am (resulting in us going over for a ‘quiet word’) or the screaming bloody kids running around right outside at 7am! Now I’m sorry, but that’s just bloody selfish and yes, I do blame the parents.

So, that’s twice I’ve tried a weekend in one of those caravans now and both times I’ve ended up so knackered from lack of sleep I feel like I need a holiday to recover! Yes, I know it’s a cheap chance to get away but really, give me a nice quiet hotel any time!   Thankfully next year I’ll have all my debts paid off and so weekends away on a budget won’t be quite the necessity any more. I’m seriously thinking about a proper posh week away in somewhere like this, though I’ll probably be billy-no-mates unless I can find someone to go with as Kel’s already arranged for her & Callum to go away for a week with a friend of hers from work and muggins here wasn’t actually invited. But hey, it’s not like I’d actually like a holiday too is it? Bit cheesed off about that to be honest as I’m always hearing how we can’t afford to do anything, but apparently they can when it doesn’t involve me… Make of that what you will.

Anyway, we did a little bit of exploring while we were there, including a trip down to Truro which was really nice and Callum was happy as he got to buy minself a new phone. Seems like a really nice town and they had a Costa in their Waterstones too which made it officially ok with me

Yesterday we went over to the Eden Project near St Austell and that was excellent. Didn’t really do any ‘proper’ photography but did take loads of snaps so I’ll upload a few of those later. Might edit a few into this post if I get a chance.

Best jump in the bath then and wake myself up a bit ready to go teach later!

The visit was mainly for Callum’s benefit as he had a voucher from his Nan and Gramp ages ago but we’ve only just got around to using it. Got to say it was well worth it, Tony really know’s his stuff and he made us all feel really welcome and at ease with the birds.

We got to meet loads including a Barn Owl, Eagle Owl, several Harris Hawks, Peregrine and Lanner Falcons and an amazing Peregrine/Lanner cross called Sheena. That’s the bird in the pic on the right (click for bigger version).

Apparently he also does half and full day courses where you can actually take the birds out hunting. Think I may just add that to the wish list for later in the year

More pics over on my Flickr..